Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
