We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
