And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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