he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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