i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
