8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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