I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
