so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Text me some of your sweat
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
