On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
