hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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