For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
