Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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