I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize