nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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