The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
