Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Your penis caused this!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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