it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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