Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
