why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
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