This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
