if only i could text you this smell
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
