He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
