How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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