She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
