oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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