ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
