Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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