in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
