do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
