So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
