I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
