Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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