How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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