Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
