That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
