I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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