Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
