I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
