I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
oh god the rape fog is back!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
