I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize