Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
