Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
