she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
