Do vagina's smell?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I deserve this hangover.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
