Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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