vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Be still, my beating vagina.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
