lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
