Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
