You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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