Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
